I debated for a while on the title of this post and never settled on one, but this is what I feel right now. Stupid, freaking hope. I guess because it feels so deceptive, so temporary, like an outfit from Forever 21 or Vicodin. But for now, I'm feeling less pain.
I paid our poor, drug-induced, medicinally-paralyzed baby a visit today and to my surprise, his saturation had gone up. Giving me that stupid glimmer of hope. As much as I tried to not get my hopes up, it's to no avail. My hopes are up. Slightly anyway. He's at about 80%. Still not great, but better than yesterday. And his vitals-like kidneys haven't shut down yet. So that means the lack of oxygen isn't completely shutting him down yet. So it buys us time to hope that he'll continue to improve and maybe even pull out of it.
On a technical note, his dopamine dosages came down as well as a few other meds, they've weened him down a bit. His lungs have been hyper-inflated because of the oscillator and they've been able to bring that down just a bit too. Which is good, because being that inflated essentially squeezes his heart.
They did shave his head a bit and put an IV in his head. Looks kind of like something out of one of the Saw movies. Creepy, but I guess there are good veins there. They also tried to pit in a PIC line today, but we don't know if it was successful or not. We're heading over there tonight.
So for now, he's doing better than yesterday, which makes today less depressing than 24 hours ago. I guess it's all in perspective.
So glad to hear he's doing a bit better. All those things are going in the right direction. Poor little guy with an IV in his head...hope the PICC line works...that is a good option.
ReplyDeleteKy had an IV in her head when she was little too. All of her baby pictures show a bald spot that only I notice, but it's because of the IV. I'm so glad to know that Seth is doing a little better, but I know how hard it is to get your hopes up. NICU is really a roller coaster ride. Keeping hanging on and know that we are praying for you and Seth too.
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